WoLFi TaLEs

squeezing time

Remember the time warp? Well now we have the time squeeze. Time squeeze or time pressure particularly affects parents, with 7 out of 10 mothers feeling frequently rushed or pressed for time according to a recent Australian Work-Life Index report summarised in ‘The Australian’. The time squeeze syndrome is also exacerbated by a long hours culture in the work place, with most Aussies wanting to work less than the average 38.2 hours. It seems a no-brainer that the study found that working ‘reasonable’ hours, and by this I assume, they mean paid work, it will lead to better work-life outcomes. So why is it so hard to resist the long hours culture, when it so obviously spells disaster for the family?

Too much unpaid work, just as too much paid work, can cause serious repercussions for families in terms of healthy relationships, mental and physical wellbeing, and happiness. A study by Lyn Craig (ref below) found that mothers in paid work squeeze time from their personal and leisure activities to fit in their caring responsibilities (by starting their day earlier or later, or pinching time from sleeping, eating or self care). But it seems to me it’s not just about time but about the support structures around you and your family that can make the difference. The following excerpt from Lesbian Dad’s blog talks about the importance and benefits of sharing the care and time out…

‘After four years of piloting our family into the uncharted waters of trio, then quartet, the beloved and I have come to realize how critical time away is. With two such dependent dependents, we are like camels.  We go for days and days on a wee dram of what we used to utterly bathe in: time enough.   Time enough to smooth out the wrinkles of misunderstanding, time enough to re-member ourselves and each other.  The stuff relationships are built on.  

Now that there’s not time enough, time away is critical.  Not just to re-member our relationship to one another as a duo, but to discover and nurture our evolving familiness, above and beyond that which we see emerging out of the daily stresses attendant to earning an income and raising kids at the same time.  

As with everyone, upon our return home from vacation, our backed-up, put-off work rushes back in (notice the skimpy number of posts this week?). And the kids’ days become filled again with other people’s care as well as ours.

Try as we might to lament this, though, and as familiar as that impulse might be, we can’t sustain the notion that they suffer for it.   Because over and over again, upon return from our time away, we’ve had the opportunity to see how much the kiddles love-love-LOVE the other people in their lives who help us care for them.’

Who are the important people or supports in your life that help ease the squeeze?

Lyn Craig (2005) ‘How do they do it? A time diary analysis of how working mothers find time for kids.’